Communicative interaction in which participants aim at reaching understanding is often peppered with gestures of politeness and deference, the absence of which is felt as coldness, indifference, insult. Discussion is also wrapped in nonlinguistic gestures that bring people together warmly, seeing conditions for amicability: smiles, handshakes, hugs, the giving and taking of food and drink. In this respect bodies, and care for bodies, must enter an ideal of communicative democracy. Theorists of deliberative democracy, however, seem to have no place for care-taking, deferential, polite acknowledgement of the Otherness of others. Since much democratic discussion will be fraught with disagreement, anger, conflict, counterargument, and criticism, intermittent gestures of flattery, greeting, deference, and conciliatory caring keep commitment to the discussion at times of anger and disagreement.
Iris Young, Intersecting Voices, p. 70.